June Has Arrived!

June is here! As I look over my IVF calendar, which is FULL of lots of colors and encouragement, thanks to Kristen, I look at the verse she wrote on the top for me. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." How many times do we forget that God has a plan for us? When things feel like they are falling apart,  when I look at so many families and have a feeling of jealousy creep in, when I feel like I am being left out of something big, its so easy for me to forget how big God is, and how great His plans are. I forget that I serve the God who created the entire universe, and it is so much bigger then we can even see. That this is God, who parted the red sea, who created Adam and Eve, who created every living thing out of nothing. My God hears my every cry, and counts my every tear. Every tear I have cried over the course of the past few years matters to Him, and every tear I cry as I feel at times this is way to much for me to handle. God has a plan for my life, and in the Bible, every time a woman was dealing with infertility, she was blessed in such amazing ways. And I get to be one of those women. I have started my shots, and so far they are going well. I even have the courage to give them to myself, which I honeslty thought I could never do, but God has given me the strength. Not only have I come a long ways through this, but my husband has also. As we were in Mammoth this last week, I woke up on Wednesday and felt a huge amount of fear knowing all of the things that I will be facing this coming month. Tim could tell something was wrong, and he come up to me and asked if he could pray for me. I told him ya sure but it wont change anything. He said that is ok, and he prayed anyway. Well, my pessimistic attitude was wrong! After he prayed for me I felt so much better, and as the days have been going by it has gotten a lot easier. The shots make me pretty tired, and I have been a little more emotional, but I keep hanging on to that end goal. God wants me to prosper, and he wants to bless me. He already knows the plan he has for me, and even though I cannot see it all, I know His plan is going to be amazing. I honestly dont know how people go through things without the hope that I have found. I cant even imagine going at this alone, not even knowing that there is a God, who created every part of who I am, who made me just how he wants me, and who loves me more than anything, who wants to see me happy, truly happy. And he knows my desires. And not only does he know them, but he wants to fulfill them. Bring it on month of June!!! :)