Retrieval

Yesterday was the big day, the retrieval. It was also my first procedure ever, besides my wisdom teeth being taken out. I had an IV with my wisdom teeth but I was out so quick I didnt even notice. So this was my first real I.V. First Tim and I went into the prep room to go over everything with my nurse, and so she could put the I.V. in. She checked all of my vitals, and my heart was racing because I was so nervous. Finally, I had to kiss Tim goodbye and head to the operation room pushing my little I.V. bag. As we went into the room and I saw everything set up, my heart started racing more. I was so scared, and I was already having a ton of cramps and trouble walking because of the shot that made me ovulate. They got me all set up, and the anesthesiologist came in to help me relax. They didnt put me all the way out, and as the Dr. came in and started I was in a lot of pain. So the wonderful lady gave me more haha. I appreciated her. I dont remember anything after that, but when I woke up the nurse told me I almost kicked the Dr, and that Im really strong because she had to hold my hand down at times. She said that I was wincing a lot, so I am glad I do not remember it. When it was over and I was alert again, I was in terrible pain. She started giving me pain meds through the I.V. and she gave me a shot of something as well, and after about 10 minutes the pain started to go away some and Tim got to come see me. The nurse told us that they got 36 eggs!! That is three years of monthly cycles, all done in a week of stimulation! No wonder I was in so much pain! She said on average they get about 10 eggs from people, the lady before me had 4. I cannot imagine doing this process and having 4! That would be incredibly hard. My estrogen levels are really high, and because there are so many eggs I am at risk of hyperstimulation. That is where your stomach starts to fill with fluid and they have to get it out. If i have mild to moderate, they will still put the embryos back in on Monday. If it is severe they wont. I have to weigh myself daily and measure my waist and if the numbers start going up it is not a good sign. So far I am doing pretty good and even lost a pound so hopefully I dont get it. Starting Thursday, we will get a call from the embryologist to update us on the status of our embryos! That will be exciting. We will find out how many fertilized, then on Saturday she will call and tell us how many are dividing and what day to come back to do the transfer, but it will most likely be Monday. So now the fun part begins!! Im still pretty sore, but I can get up a little easier and walk around a little better right now. Pray for my body as it recovers, my overies went from the size of a walnut to the size of a grape fruit so they now need to go back to their regular size. And my stomach has a lot of cramping still, but im on pain meds :). I also start the big shot tonight that I have been dreading this whole time. Not only is it a bigger shot, it is an oil so its harder to get in and it hurts more, so I am not looking forward to it at all. I have to do it for the next few weeks, and if I am pregnant I do it until I am 10 weeks. And pray for our embryos as they develop over the next five days. We have so many that I am not worried, even if we lose half we will be doing good, but its still cool to pray for our embryos!! God is so good to us, and I am positive He will take care of me over the next few days.

AHHHHH!!

Yes, im screaming, because im excited!!! Its finally here!!!! Today i went in for another ultrasound and blood work, and I have a TON of follicles. Seriously. There were 32 of them! 27 are big an ready to come out, and 5 are still growing. Tonight, I do my HCG shot, which is done 36 hours before they take the eggs out, so I get them taken out on wednesday and they will put 2 embryos back in on Monday, a week from today!! yay!!! Just wanted to post a little update :) Thanks everyone for praying that i would have lots of eggs, God listened. Now the next prayer...pray that i get pregnant!!!!!</

So today I had my first ultrasound to see all of the eggs. I was so excited to see how many that I have and how big they are! I have really been feeling them grow, and it hurts a lot so I knew that would be a good size. The ultrasound shows that I have about 10 on each side, and they are at a size 11 and 12. They need to get to an 18. I may not have 20 at the time they take them all out, because he said some of them may stop growing so we wont know for sure for a few more days! With all of the cramping I am having now, I dont want to know how it is going to feel when they are at an 18! But its so cool to think that one of those eggs will be my baby!! So im in pain, but moving along fast! Hopefully when I go back on Saturday they will tell me I can do my shot on Monday and do retrieval on Wednesday!! Its coming so fast and I cant wait, but im also so emotional, bloated, and having cramps that I lose focus of the end result. Hopefully as it gets closer it will feel more real and I wont be so emotional and tired!

And we're off

So I went in for my blood test and ultrasound today. After a frustrating morning at the doctor where they couldnt find my appointment and I had to wait FOREVER while everyone else got to go before me, I finally got to go in. The ultrasound showed that I still have a cyst, and the doctor keeps mentioning endometriosis because this cyst has been in my last 4 ultrasounds and isnt going away. I did a blood test, and they said they would call me with the results to see if I can start the stronger shots to get the process going, or if I would have to wait another week because of the cyst, as it could raise my estrogen levels. I went home feelings so frustrated and defeated! I climbed in bed, took a nap, and then got a call from the nurse. My estrogen level is perfect!!!! YES!!! She said they are going to empty the cyst during the retrieval so it wont interfere with anything. This means I get to continue as scheduled, and I start my next shot on Sunday. This one will be twice a day, once in the morning and once and night, along with my other shot still once a day. 3 shots a day!! This next shot should start to stimulate the development of my follices, and over the next week I get to watch, and feel them grow. I go back to the dr. on Tuesday for another blood test to see where we are at. At my meeting with the embryologist, she said I had 17 follicles, while most people have 10 to 12. So she said they may be able to get about 20 eggs out, which would be awesome! Continue to pray for us, as Im sure this next week will be pretty emotional with all of the shots and as they dosages get stronger. Hopefully I respond well to the medicine, and we can stay on track with the calendar!!

Overview

So I know I just posted yesterday, but we just had a great appointment with the embryologist and I have to share :) She went over all of these papers with us, and showed us pictures of embryos developing. It was seriously amazing! God just created everything to be so perfect and its amazing that get a small glimpse of it. When you do IVF, they do a thing called ICSI where they actually take a single sperm and inject it into an egg. After they do this, the egg starts to develop over the next 5 days, and then they put two embryos back in. The picture showed them injecting the sperm, and right when they take out the needle the egg closes up as if there were never even a hole from the needle. If there is anything wrong with the sperm or egg, they each have the ability to correct each other! How amazing is that? They work together and make sure that each other are healthy. Its amazing that God designed it that way, because if not there would be a ton of birth defects. The embryo has an outer lining around it, which gets thinner and thinner as the days go by. This is because at this time naturally, the embryo would be in the fallopian tubes and if it didnt have that lining it would attached to the tubes and not the uterus. 5 days later embryo starts making its way out of the lining, which makes it capable of attaching in the uterus. Isn't it amazing how God just created every single detail of it? As I was looking at pictures and learning all of this I was just in awe that it all goes together soooo perfectly. Hats off to you God! haha.

 

June Has Arrived!

June is here! As I look over my IVF calendar, which is FULL of lots of colors and encouragement, thanks to Kristen, I look at the verse she wrote on the top for me. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." How many times do we forget that God has a plan for us? When things feel like they are falling apart,  when I look at so many families and have a feeling of jealousy creep in, when I feel like I am being left out of something big, its so easy for me to forget how big God is, and how great His plans are. I forget that I serve the God who created the entire universe, and it is so much bigger then we can even see. That this is God, who parted the red sea, who created Adam and Eve, who created every living thing out of nothing. My God hears my every cry, and counts my every tear. Every tear I have cried over the course of the past few years matters to Him, and every tear I cry as I feel at times this is way to much for me to handle. God has a plan for my life, and in the Bible, every time a woman was dealing with infertility, she was blessed in such amazing ways. And I get to be one of those women. I have started my shots, and so far they are going well. I even have the courage to give them to myself, which I honeslty thought I could never do, but God has given me the strength. Not only have I come a long ways through this, but my husband has also. As we were in Mammoth this last week, I woke up on Wednesday and felt a huge amount of fear knowing all of the things that I will be facing this coming month. Tim could tell something was wrong, and he come up to me and asked if he could pray for me. I told him ya sure but it wont change anything. He said that is ok, and he prayed anyway. Well, my pessimistic attitude was wrong! After he prayed for me I felt so much better, and as the days have been going by it has gotten a lot easier. The shots make me pretty tired, and I have been a little more emotional, but I keep hanging on to that end goal. God wants me to prosper, and he wants to bless me. He already knows the plan he has for me, and even though I cannot see it all, I know His plan is going to be amazing. I honestly dont know how people go through things without the hope that I have found. I cant even imagine going at this alone, not even knowing that there is a God, who created every part of who I am, who made me just how he wants me, and who loves me more than anything, who wants to see me happy, truly happy. And he knows my desires. And not only does he know them, but he wants to fulfill them. Bring it on month of June!!! :)