This month is national adoption month, which of course I FULLY support! Even as I am writing this I have my three little ones right by me all needing my attention lol. I definitely cannot say that adoption has been the easiest road, or even the easiest adjustment, but it has been totally and completely worth it.
The first few days after our kids landed at the airport, we were on cloud 9! But reality soon hit. Especially with kids who are older, and ours aren't even that old, they come with a lot of history and memories and attachment issues. One of the hardest parts of having three kids placed with us, was that I didn't feel like they were mine. I was having the hardest time bonding with them because I had this ideal in my head and the situation wasn't matching up to that ideal. Of course one thing I was dealing with not being able to have biological children, because when three kids are placed with you and you don't feel that automatic attachment that is the first thing you grieve. But I was also not prepared for the constant talk about "other moms" and how much that would effect me in not feeling like these kids were really mine.
I remember crying a lot, and crying to God, how could you give me kids and not allow that motherly bond to happen immediately. You already took away one of my dreams and now you are not allowing me to have this one either??? I feel like I'm babysitting kids that don't belong to me, but belong to other parents and they will never view me as their mom. (I get that this is a little extreme but in the moment this is truly how I felt). And then I felt God tell me in my heart, these kids are not other parents kids, they are HIS. At that moment my heart softened. God was right, they are HIS kids and HE made them for us. And the bonding started happening. God wasn't the one holding back the bonding with my sweet kids, it was me. And there are sooo many more of HIS kids out there waiting for parents.
I ADORE these sweet kids. I have never felt so in love with kids before, and pretty much think they are the most amazing people in the world. They are so funny, and so sweet and sincere. They are grateful. Probably because they know what its like to have the opposite of what we have now. They are friendly and social. They are all so unique and fun. I cant imagine life without them. I am their mom.
And of course, as I am writing about national adoption month, I just got a call saying they are signing off on our consent to adopt and sending it in, so we will finalize really soon!! God is good!!! Adoption is amazing!! My life, Tim's life, and especially their 3 lives have been forever changed!
Friday, November 8, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
TJ Day
In my post today, I want to brag on TJ. He is such a sweet boy, not only is he sweet but he has the softest heart and is so loving. He has made the transition to motherhood so much easier on me with his loving words, his gratefulness, and his comedy. Did I mention he is super funny? The boy keeps me laughing all the time. Here are some TJ moments I never want to forget:
-Before he goes to sleep at night, we likes us to listen to his heart and he loves to listen to ours.
-He is ALWAYS telling me that he LOVES my heart.
-The other day we were talking, and he told me that it snowed at his old house and he had squirrels. I said yes, but now you live here in California and we don't have a lot of squirrels and we have to go to the mountains to see snow. He says yes, I like California the best. I say, how come? He replies, because I have you here!
-My ABSOLUTE favorite moment with TJ was when I was putting him to bed one night, and he was telling me about some things that have happened to him when he was younger, and it was very sad. I told him how sorry I am that those things happened to him, and I wish I could have been there to stop them, but they will not happen anymore now that he is with us and he is safe. He looked up at me and said, mom, can I keep you forever?? That was the moment my heart totally fell for this little boy. I said yes, forever and ever and ever.
-When he was playing basketball, he got hit in the head with the ball and since then, he has been covering his head after he shoots. He says, mom, Im" duckeling" from the ball because I don't want to get hit in the head haha. We have been working with him on not hiding from the ball and he finally did it. He said, mom dad will me so proud of me that I didn't duckel!!!
-He has to hug everyone and he talks to anyone about pretty much everything, he is sooo social and friendly and people are drawn to him.
-He mixes up his words and phrases when he talks which I LOVE. He used to always say, are you lying at me?? He also used to always say, I promise about everything. He would tell me, mom, can you help me with this?? If I couldn't at the moment he would tell me, but I promise!!! Not sure what he was promising, but he sure said it! lol.
-He LOVES to cuddle with me, and he hates when anyone kisses him except for me. I LOVE that!
-When I take him to school, he tells me I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything until after I pick him up so he doesn't miss out lol.
-He is always the first to say thank you, and he says it for everything! Thank you for making my dinner, thank you for cuddling with me, thank you for playing with me.
-When we went to the hospital to see my sister after she had Jude, he went right over to her and said, how is your tummy feeling Kim Kim?? Did you cry when the doctor took the baby out??? She said yes and he rubbed her leg! He is just so sweet and loves to make sure everyone is ok!
-He tells me all the time that he prayed for me when he was at his foster moms house and he cried for me. I know he met me once since we flew out there to meet him, so maybe he is talking about after he met me. I remember being in Kansas when we were leaving them to go home, and he asked me if he could go home with me and it hurt like crazy to have to leave him. He got attached to me quickly, so I'm sure it was hard on him too. I'm sure it was just God's way of preparing us for each other!
TJ has not had an easy life, and I know that he has not received a lot of love and attention, and I am SOO thankful that I get to be the one to change that for him, to gain his trust, and to show him unconditional motherly love. He is such a blessing in my life, and he is more than I could have ever imaged in a son. I cant believe he is going to be 6 in a couple weeks. My mom reminded me that last year at this time, I was working on getting the kids here, and I was hoping he would be here by his birthday. It didn't happen, but this year we get to celebrate with him! God is going to do great things with this sweet boy!
-Before he goes to sleep at night, we likes us to listen to his heart and he loves to listen to ours.
-He is ALWAYS telling me that he LOVES my heart.
-The other day we were talking, and he told me that it snowed at his old house and he had squirrels. I said yes, but now you live here in California and we don't have a lot of squirrels and we have to go to the mountains to see snow. He says yes, I like California the best. I say, how come? He replies, because I have you here!
-My ABSOLUTE favorite moment with TJ was when I was putting him to bed one night, and he was telling me about some things that have happened to him when he was younger, and it was very sad. I told him how sorry I am that those things happened to him, and I wish I could have been there to stop them, but they will not happen anymore now that he is with us and he is safe. He looked up at me and said, mom, can I keep you forever?? That was the moment my heart totally fell for this little boy. I said yes, forever and ever and ever.
-When he was playing basketball, he got hit in the head with the ball and since then, he has been covering his head after he shoots. He says, mom, Im" duckeling" from the ball because I don't want to get hit in the head haha. We have been working with him on not hiding from the ball and he finally did it. He said, mom dad will me so proud of me that I didn't duckel!!!
-He has to hug everyone and he talks to anyone about pretty much everything, he is sooo social and friendly and people are drawn to him.
-He mixes up his words and phrases when he talks which I LOVE. He used to always say, are you lying at me?? He also used to always say, I promise about everything. He would tell me, mom, can you help me with this?? If I couldn't at the moment he would tell me, but I promise!!! Not sure what he was promising, but he sure said it! lol.
-He LOVES to cuddle with me, and he hates when anyone kisses him except for me. I LOVE that!
-When I take him to school, he tells me I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything until after I pick him up so he doesn't miss out lol.
-He is always the first to say thank you, and he says it for everything! Thank you for making my dinner, thank you for cuddling with me, thank you for playing with me.
-When we went to the hospital to see my sister after she had Jude, he went right over to her and said, how is your tummy feeling Kim Kim?? Did you cry when the doctor took the baby out??? She said yes and he rubbed her leg! He is just so sweet and loves to make sure everyone is ok!
-He tells me all the time that he prayed for me when he was at his foster moms house and he cried for me. I know he met me once since we flew out there to meet him, so maybe he is talking about after he met me. I remember being in Kansas when we were leaving them to go home, and he asked me if he could go home with me and it hurt like crazy to have to leave him. He got attached to me quickly, so I'm sure it was hard on him too. I'm sure it was just God's way of preparing us for each other!
TJ has not had an easy life, and I know that he has not received a lot of love and attention, and I am SOO thankful that I get to be the one to change that for him, to gain his trust, and to show him unconditional motherly love. He is such a blessing in my life, and he is more than I could have ever imaged in a son. I cant believe he is going to be 6 in a couple weeks. My mom reminded me that last year at this time, I was working on getting the kids here, and I was hoping he would be here by his birthday. It didn't happen, but this year we get to celebrate with him! God is going to do great things with this sweet boy!
Dancing in the rain!
Basketball!
LOVES the Swings!!!
Monday, September 23, 2013
Adoption & Infertility
Well I just spent the last hour combining my blogs to this one. It just didn't feel right starting on this blog, and leaving our whole story behind on the other. So now, If you go to the blog archive, its all there, from the first IVF to now.
I am going to be really honest in this blog, as I always try to be. I don't see the point in hiding our feelings, if we feel them, there is a reason for it and we might as well voice and give the feelings life so we can process them. I have been struggling lately. I have felt this empty place in my heart that I cannot seem to stop going to. I feel like its really messing with me, and it is causing me a lot of emotions. I think this whole time I have tried to use adoption to cover up our infertility, but the truth is, adoption or no adoption, we are still infertile. And its a place in my heart I cant just ignore or push aside, because its reality for me. I am trying to find a way to process this, and make some peace with it, because at this moment it really hurts. As I was switching over all the blogs to this site, and I was reading about our first treatment, about my faith, my love for God and other people, my growth, my peace, and ultimately getting my children, I am amazed at how much faith I had in God. And at this point I am wondering where that went. I know it isn't God who moved away from me, its me who moved away from Him. I really don't know how people process such deep, emotional issues, and still find that strong faith in God. I miss it. I want it back. Its hard when you look at things in life, not to get angry at Him. And it sounds ridiculous because God is the giver of good things. But when you see situations happen and you know he can change it but doesn't, its hard not to get angry. I think one of the things that bothers me the most, is when Christians act like it is so easy to just trust God with everything, because the reality is that faith is not easy, faith is hard. Apparently this is another growth season in my life. I just hope that as me and God deal with my feelings in this, and I can show my kids that loving God doesn't mean it always has to be perfect or easy, but that you don't give up. Even when you aren't feeling Him, even when you are angry, that He can handle it. And I know I am a lot to handle.
I am going to be really honest in this blog, as I always try to be. I don't see the point in hiding our feelings, if we feel them, there is a reason for it and we might as well voice and give the feelings life so we can process them. I have been struggling lately. I have felt this empty place in my heart that I cannot seem to stop going to. I feel like its really messing with me, and it is causing me a lot of emotions. I think this whole time I have tried to use adoption to cover up our infertility, but the truth is, adoption or no adoption, we are still infertile. And its a place in my heart I cant just ignore or push aside, because its reality for me. I am trying to find a way to process this, and make some peace with it, because at this moment it really hurts. As I was switching over all the blogs to this site, and I was reading about our first treatment, about my faith, my love for God and other people, my growth, my peace, and ultimately getting my children, I am amazed at how much faith I had in God. And at this point I am wondering where that went. I know it isn't God who moved away from me, its me who moved away from Him. I really don't know how people process such deep, emotional issues, and still find that strong faith in God. I miss it. I want it back. Its hard when you look at things in life, not to get angry at Him. And it sounds ridiculous because God is the giver of good things. But when you see situations happen and you know he can change it but doesn't, its hard not to get angry. I think one of the things that bothers me the most, is when Christians act like it is so easy to just trust God with everything, because the reality is that faith is not easy, faith is hard. Apparently this is another growth season in my life. I just hope that as me and God deal with my feelings in this, and I can show my kids that loving God doesn't mean it always has to be perfect or easy, but that you don't give up. Even when you aren't feeling Him, even when you are angry, that He can handle it. And I know I am a lot to handle.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
I really am conflicted about which blog to keep up! I love the other one, because it has our story from the very beginning, before we did our first treatment, to getting a call on the kids, to actually getting them. But this site will help me connect better with others who have been where we are. I think I have officially decided to switch over to this one, but I am sad to do it! Anyways, onto the real stuff...
So the past few weeks have been some of the hardest on me since God has blessed me with three kids. I have been very emotional, and tired, and drained. My son asked me about two weeks ago if he was in my belly when he was a baby. It was the HARDEST thing to have to tell him no, you weren't, which led to a series of questions and emotions on his part. I completely understand that this sweet boy has been moved around so much, and is so confused by everything that has happened in his short life, and is going to experience a range of emotions in processing this. He cried and cried and cried, telling me he wanted his mommy, some of the hardest words I have had to hear. There is nothing like holding your son who is crying because he wants his "first mom." My heart started breaking. I know how insecure my son is, how scared he is of having to leave our home and go somewhere else, not understanding of why he has been moved around so much, wondering if his first mom loved him, but his insecurities started to bring out mine. From before we got the kids, I wondered, will he feel like I am really his mom? Can I love him as if he were my own child? What if he wants her more than he wants me? Its amazing how emotion can allow your mind to wander in such bad directions. But here we are, facing the reality of our situation - he does have a birth mom, he will want to know about her, he will feel abandoned by her, and I will feel my heart dropping to the floor when he asks about her. I really thought I would be fine when he asked, I didn't expect it to be so soon, but I have thought about this exact situation and how I would handle it, and in my head it went perfectly. I could use some prayer as I am trying to process this. As my heart hurts, it is taking my brain on a roller coaster ride with thoughts and feelings that are not true, but feel very real. As I try not to let my feelings and emotions impact my role as a wife and a mom. I know this is not TJ's fault, and he by no means deserves a lesser mom, he needs a mom who will step up and help and allow him to sort out his feelings, and that is exactly what I am trying to be. To not put my insecurities and feelings on him, because they are mine to deal with and not his, and he should not have to feel bad or guilty for asking questions about the truth of his life. I know what I need to be, and am trying to be, I just need my feelings and my heart to step up and get to where the truth is. If that makes any sense at all.
On a more positive update, the kids have been doing very well, despite the last paragraph. Jessy is talking and talking, and the more she talks the more I fall in love with her. She is such a joy, and when I look at her I just can't believe God choose me to be her mom. Shannon is doing great as well, she is learning so much and as TJ comes home from school, she wants to learn everything he did. With TJ starting school recently, it gives me a chance to spend more time with just the girls. It amazes me how young they start using their imagination, and the things that they can come up with. TJ has started basketball, which he is really enjoying. I cant wait to see his first game! They are all growing like crazy and changing everyday. I cant believe its almost been a year since we got them!
TJ's first basketball practice
LOVE his smile and eyes!
Swinging her baby around. Its amazing how young girls
have the desire to be a mommy one day.
So the past few weeks have been some of the hardest on me since God has blessed me with three kids. I have been very emotional, and tired, and drained. My son asked me about two weeks ago if he was in my belly when he was a baby. It was the HARDEST thing to have to tell him no, you weren't, which led to a series of questions and emotions on his part. I completely understand that this sweet boy has been moved around so much, and is so confused by everything that has happened in his short life, and is going to experience a range of emotions in processing this. He cried and cried and cried, telling me he wanted his mommy, some of the hardest words I have had to hear. There is nothing like holding your son who is crying because he wants his "first mom." My heart started breaking. I know how insecure my son is, how scared he is of having to leave our home and go somewhere else, not understanding of why he has been moved around so much, wondering if his first mom loved him, but his insecurities started to bring out mine. From before we got the kids, I wondered, will he feel like I am really his mom? Can I love him as if he were my own child? What if he wants her more than he wants me? Its amazing how emotion can allow your mind to wander in such bad directions. But here we are, facing the reality of our situation - he does have a birth mom, he will want to know about her, he will feel abandoned by her, and I will feel my heart dropping to the floor when he asks about her. I really thought I would be fine when he asked, I didn't expect it to be so soon, but I have thought about this exact situation and how I would handle it, and in my head it went perfectly. I could use some prayer as I am trying to process this. As my heart hurts, it is taking my brain on a roller coaster ride with thoughts and feelings that are not true, but feel very real. As I try not to let my feelings and emotions impact my role as a wife and a mom. I know this is not TJ's fault, and he by no means deserves a lesser mom, he needs a mom who will step up and help and allow him to sort out his feelings, and that is exactly what I am trying to be. To not put my insecurities and feelings on him, because they are mine to deal with and not his, and he should not have to feel bad or guilty for asking questions about the truth of his life. I know what I need to be, and am trying to be, I just need my feelings and my heart to step up and get to where the truth is. If that makes any sense at all.
On a more positive update, the kids have been doing very well, despite the last paragraph. Jessy is talking and talking, and the more she talks the more I fall in love with her. She is such a joy, and when I look at her I just can't believe God choose me to be her mom. Shannon is doing great as well, she is learning so much and as TJ comes home from school, she wants to learn everything he did. With TJ starting school recently, it gives me a chance to spend more time with just the girls. It amazes me how young they start using their imagination, and the things that they can come up with. TJ has started basketball, which he is really enjoying. I cant wait to see his first game! They are all growing like crazy and changing everyday. I cant believe its almost been a year since we got them!
TJ's first basketball practice
LOVE his smile and eyes!
Jessy is looking so big!
Swinging her baby around. Its amazing how young girls
have the desire to be a mommy one day.
Discovering cute girly clothes, they LOVE to be dressed up!
My girls loving on each other!
Friday, August 2, 2013
Feeling thoughtful
I am in a thoughtful mood today. There are definitely days in life where you sit and think about all God has done and you sit in awe of his miracles. Of course life is hard, and there are also times when you search everywhere and you just can't see God working at all, but the truth is He is, He always is. Being a mom is hard work, its exhausting, it requires a lot of coffee, and most of the time you feel like you are giving so much and receiving so little. But at the same time, it is such a blessing and such a gift. To be able to transform and imprint lives everyday. To be the #1 person in someone's life and to know your opinion and affection matters so significantly. There are times when I think I am doing such an awful job, and then times i feel like the most successful person in the world. God has given me the best and greatest gift and I am so thankful. If you would have asked me what my greatest wish was a year ago, it would have been to get pregnant and have a baby. But if you were to ask me now, I wish that I could go back in time and have had these three beautiful children from the moment they entered this world. To take away their fears of abandonment and to replace it with the understanding of unconditional love. Love that will never send them away, love that would never place them in a new home making them feel like they aren't good enough. To know that such young minds have such big fears breaks my heart. For my daughter to get a new bunk bed and ask my everyday if she gets to keep it. For my son to ask if he has to get a new mom when he gets a little bigger, to have the kids rush to tell me how much they love me after they get in trouble because they are scared. I now have something new I get to trust God with, and that is mending their little hearts and showing them that His love is pure and unconditional, and because of that I can love them unconditionally as well. I know that every hug and every kiss is another step in the direction of them learning that I am not going away. That they are safe and they will not have to move to a new home with a new mom and family ever again. I pray that my approval is always easy for them to get, that they never feel they have to be perfect or do things correctly to win my love and get my acceptance, that it is just already there. I pray that I can show them God's love in a way that they don't feel like that have to search the world for acceptance, but know that they are accepted within our home no matter what. God has done such a huge miracle in our lives, and I am so blessed and thankful that he chose this plan for Tim and I. I wouldn't change it for anything.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Life as We Know It
Life has definitely changed in the Mantzey household! I was reading over the last entry that I wrote, and it was when we went to kansas to meet the kids for the first time. Here we are 7 months later, with a whole new world in front of us! Its amazing how kids can just show you life from a new perspective. Everything is so new and so exciting and special to them, and it makes you realize how precious life truly is. There are obviously really good times, and really hard ones as well. We are bonding so well as a family, it really is crazy to think that 8 months ago, we didn't even know these kids. I feel like I have had them forever. Their little personalities are just shining through as they are getting very comfortable with us. It amazes me how much they act like us already, I can see me in each of them. God really designed them for us. I would say some of the hardest parts is learning how to handle 3 kids. Handling fights, dealing with stubbornness (Jessy is very stubborn), learning to stay consistent, learning their likes and dislikes and what makes them each feel loved. Hearing constantly about their "other foster mom" was really hard on me for a while, but that is finally calming down some. Teaching them to be more independent has been one of our main focuses. When they first got here they needed everything done for them, and would hardly do anything on their own. With Tim working long days, it was so exhausting to try to keep up with all of their needs, so I started making them do some things on their own, and they actually really enjoyed it. Shannon gets so excited when she does something new for the first time and yells out, "its because im a big sister!" We have also focused a lot on being nice to each other and forming bonds with each other. Things were getting really good between the three of them, and then Jessy hit a new stage! She really enjoys picking on the older two, pulling hair, taking their things, knocking their stuff over, and just being mean. As i mentioned earlier, Jess is a stubborn little girl, so trying to figure out ways to discipline her has been interesting. Thankfully I have a lot of great mothers I know that I have been able to get advice from and we are slowly working through it. I would say another hard part is the constant noise. Its sooo different going from the two of us, to three kids who all have so many different emotions and moods and talk all the time haha. We are learning how to be parents, and to put our marriage as a priority as well. At first it was so hard because the kids required so much from us we could hardly focus on "us." Now that we are getting a lot of their behaviors a little more in control, we are trying to figure out how to get things going smoothly with us again. And of course there is our relationships with God. For a long time, I was actually feeling really angry at Him to be honest. When we decided to take these kids, one of the other choices we had was to adopt a baby. We had met with the birthmom and she really wanted us to do it, but I just felt like three new kids and a new baby would be way to much for me and I didnt want to give less to the kids then they deserved because I was stressed. But my heart hardened towards God for making me choose, it was the one choice I didn't want to have to make, and I felt so angry at Him. It was the hardest thing in the world to have to call up this birthmom and tell her no, we couldnt do it. It broke my heart into a thousand pieces, and she is on my mind a lot. The baby was born a few months ago, and she decided to keep him and I pray that they are doing well. My relationship with God is finally getting back on track, sometimes you just have to let it all out and know that God can handle it. We are also now going back to our previous church, Imagine Church, and even though it has only been a few weeks the love of the people there for us, as well as the kids, is already softening my heart as it did the last time we went there. They just show God's love so well and embrace our family in a way I have never felt before. Continue to pray for us as we adjust to life with three kids, as we show them God's love and the love of parents who adore them. Life is so joyful again, and everyone who sees me tells me how happy I look and how much joy is in my eyes, and I LOVE it!! Sunday, February 24, 2013
I wanted to start a new blog page, since we are now on a new journey and this one seems a lot easier to get to and follow. God is so amazing. After our 3 1/2 year journey on the infertility road, he has blessed us with the three most amazing kids ever. I don't want to paint a picture as if its all been really easy, because it hasn't. But overall, as I look at these beautiful kids, I cannot believe that God has given them to us, and it still is hard to even believe they are OURS! TJ is such a blessing to me personally. I LOVE having a boy, and he LOVES having a mom. I can pretty much count on every hour hearing, I love you mom and I need to give you a kiss. He has such a sweet heart and he is so funny. We were driving to his grandparents house and he saw a truck pulling a boat. He says, Mom why is that boat on the road? I said the truck is probably pulling it to the lake. He replies, Mom are you lying at me??? I laugh and say no I'm not lying TJ. He said I don't see a lake, you are lying at me, now I have my eyes closed and my arms folded hahaha. He has such a personality and phrases things in the funniest way. Shannon is a beautiful little girl, and she loves to laugh and play. She can be sweet, but she is a feisty little girl as well. She doesn't seem to cling to me or Tim more, she is pretty even. She loves to brush my hair, and loves to be tickled and get lots of attention. When we meet people, she is usually the one that attracts their attention right away and loves it. She LOVES to dance and has the cutest expressions. She is also a little stubborn, which secretly I really like in kids. I'm always drawn to the ones that challenge me some. And of course, there is Jessy, or Jessy girl as her auntie Kim Kim calls her. Now Jessy is a personality all on her own. She is a STUBBORN little girl, and she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to let us know exactly what that is. If she tries to do something and cannot do it, she gets super frustrated and ends up screaming until we help her. She doesn't usually laugh and things the other kids laugh at, but when she is laughing you cant help but laugh too because she is so funny. If I tell her not to do something, she will look right at me and do it and smile the whole way through because she knows she is pushing my button. She LOVES her grandma, and if grandma is around she gets sooo excited. She also adores her daddy, and when he gets home from work she runs and plays and laughs so much and I love watching them love each other.
Going from 0 to 3 kids has been crazy! Our whole lives have changed, and we are still adjusting to exactly what that means. We have dealt with crazy fits from the kids, kicking, screaming, kicking walls, spitting, lots of fun things. It has not been this magical transition, its been hard and we have had to work super hard. There have been lots of tears and lots of hugs. We have had to do a lot of time outs and teaching the kids what is ok and what isn't and they have not enjoyed that part very much haha. I am amazed how far they have come in the short time they have been here. They have calmed down so much, and we haven't had a crazy fit in over two weeks, its been so amazing. I cannot say that I felt right away like they were mine, its been an emotional journey at times, and I am still realizing that God made them just for me! They are so much like us, and I cannot imagine us creating any better kids for our personalities than these ones. We just adore them! I really want to keep this blog updated for my own sake, I want to remember this journey and look back and read it in years to come. God has created an amazing story for Tim and I, and I am so glad He did!
Going from 0 to 3 kids has been crazy! Our whole lives have changed, and we are still adjusting to exactly what that means. We have dealt with crazy fits from the kids, kicking, screaming, kicking walls, spitting, lots of fun things. It has not been this magical transition, its been hard and we have had to work super hard. There have been lots of tears and lots of hugs. We have had to do a lot of time outs and teaching the kids what is ok and what isn't and they have not enjoyed that part very much haha. I am amazed how far they have come in the short time they have been here. They have calmed down so much, and we haven't had a crazy fit in over two weeks, its been so amazing. I cannot say that I felt right away like they were mine, its been an emotional journey at times, and I am still realizing that God made them just for me! They are so much like us, and I cannot imagine us creating any better kids for our personalities than these ones. We just adore them! I really want to keep this blog updated for my own sake, I want to remember this journey and look back and read it in years to come. God has created an amazing story for Tim and I, and I am so glad He did!
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