National Adoption Month

This month is national adoption month, which of course I FULLY support! Even as I am writing this I have my three little ones right by me all needing my attention lol. I definitely cannot say that adoption has been the easiest road, or even the easiest adjustment, but it has been totally and completely worth it.
The first few days after our kids landed at the airport, we were on cloud 9! But reality soon hit. Especially with kids who are older, and ours aren't even that old, they come with a lot of history and memories and attachment issues. One of the hardest parts of having three kids placed with us, was that I didn't feel like they were mine. I was having the hardest time bonding with them because I had this ideal in my head and the situation wasn't matching up to that ideal. Of course one thing I was dealing with not being able to have biological children, because when three kids are placed with you and you don't feel that automatic attachment that is the first thing you grieve. But I was also not prepared for the constant talk about "other moms" and how much that would effect me in not feeling like these kids were really mine.
I remember crying a lot, and crying to God, how could you give me kids and not allow that motherly bond to happen immediately. You already took away one of my dreams and now you are not allowing me to have this one either??? I feel like I'm babysitting kids that don't belong to me, but belong to other parents and they will never view me as their mom. (I get that this is a little extreme but in the moment this is truly how I felt). And then I felt God tell me in my heart, these kids are not other parents kids, they are HIS. At that moment my heart softened. God was right, they are HIS kids and HE made them for us. And the bonding started happening. God wasn't the one holding back the bonding with my sweet kids, it was me. And there are sooo many more of HIS kids out there waiting for parents.
I ADORE these sweet kids. I have never felt so in love with kids before, and pretty much think they are the most amazing people in the world. They are so funny, and so sweet and sincere. They are grateful. Probably because they know what its like to have the opposite of what we have now. They are friendly and social. They are all so unique and fun. I cant imagine life without them. I am their mom.
And of course, as I am writing about national adoption month, I just got a call saying they are signing off on our consent to adopt and sending it in, so we will finalize really soon!! God is good!!! Adoption is amazing!! My life, Tim's life, and especially their 3 lives have been forever changed!