Sunday, October 30, 2011

IVF #2 Update

I wanted to give everyone an update on our IVF#2. We started at the beginning of October, and are going strong! Everything so far has fallen into place except for one thing. My estrogen levels are somewhat low compared to where they should be. They are working on finding a way to fix this, and I go back in tomorrow for another blood test to see if my levels are any higher. For right now, its not a terrible thing because they havent done the transfer, and everything else looks so good. We just need to get them up by Friday, and everything will be fine, which I know they can do. Our transfer is on Friday morning sometime, not sure what time yet. Please continue to pray for our embryos as they have to go through the thawing process and not all embryos survive this part. We just want 2 healthy embryos, or 3 :) and I know God has already selected which ones will be used.  I appreciate all of your prayers! Yesterday was a powerful and emotional day for us as our families got together to pray for us, and then our church family loved us and prayed for us. It has been such a blessing to me to see how many people are right by our side through all of this, even when sometimes Satan can get me to belief that im alone. I appreciate the random text messages I get of people thinking about us, and the facebook messages and chats. One thing that I like to do, as if this wasnt obvious, is write. I used to write ALL the time when I was younger, and seemed to stop for some reason. Well infertility has helped me find my way back to writing. One of the greatest things about writing is going back months or years later and reading what you read and what prayers God has answered, and just how your life has changed. I wanted to share one of my journals with you that I wrote over a year ago, because my heart is full of thankfulness, and when I re- read this I just knew I had to share it.

God,
As i'm dealing with some of the hard things going on right now, I have realized that i have lost my focus on God as well as the good things that are going on in my life. I have been so focused on how much i hurt and how upset i am that i do not seem to care about anything else. I want to start writing some of the things i am thankful for that you have given to me.
 1. You-God. I am so thankful for you because you love me unconditionally. It doesnt matter if i mess up, even though sometimes i trick myself into thinking that it does. You care about me so much, and you created me to be here at this point and time for a reason. i am not a mistake, and you have handpicked every aspect of my life. although i am still learning to trust you, i am thankful that you are patient with me.
 2. Tim. i am so thankful for my husband. He has an understanding of me that nobody has ever had before. He is so perfect for me. he makes me laugh and even when we go through hard times he thinks about things and realizes how much he loves me. hI wanted to give everyone an update on our IVF#2. We started at the beginning of October, and are going strong! Everything so far has fallen into place except for one thing. My estrogen levels are somewhat low compared to where they should be. They are working on finding a way to fix this, and I go back in tomorrow for another blood test to see if my levels are any higher. For right now, its not a terrible thing because they havent done the transfer, and everything else looks so good. We just need to get them up by Friday, and everything will be fine, which I know they can do. Our transfer is on Friday morning sometime, not sure what time yet. Please continue to pray for our embryos as they have to go through the thawing process and not all embryos survive this part. We just want 2 healthy embryos, or 3 :) and I know God has already selected which ones will be used.  I appreciate all of your prayers! Yesterday was a powerful and emotional day for us as our families got together to pray for us, and then our church family loved us and prayed for us. It has been such a blessing to me to see how many people are right by our side through all of this, even when sometimes Satan can get me to belief that im alone. I appreciate the random text messages I get of people thinking about us, and the facebook messages and chats. One thing that I like to do, as if this wasnt obvious, is write. I used to write ALL the time when I was younger, and seemed to stop for some reason. Well infertility has helped me find my way back to writing. One of the greatest things about writing is going back months or years later and reading what you read and what prayers God has answered, and just how your life has changed. I wanted to share one of my journals with you that I wrote over a year ago, because my heart is full of thankfulness, and when I re- read this I just knew I had to share it.

God,
As i'm dealing with some of the hard things going on right now, I have realized that i have lost my focus on God as well as the good things that are going on in my life. I have been so focused on how much i hurt and how upset i am that i do not seem to care about anything else. I want to start writing some of the things i am thankful for that you have given to me.
 1. You-God. I am so thankful for you because you love me unconditionally. It doesnt matter if i mess up, even though sometimes i trick myself into thinking that it does. You care about me so much, and you created me to be here at this point and time for a reason. i am not a mistake, and you have handpicked every aspect of my life. although i am still learning to trust you, i am thankful that you are patient with me.
 2. Tim. i am so thankful for my husband. He has an understanding of me that nobody has ever had before. He is so perfect for me. he makes me laugh and even when we go through hard times he thinks about things and realizes how much he loves me. he doesnt let things about me get to him to the extent that he wouldnt want me anymore. i know im not perfect, and he is actually ok with that. I am so lucky to have him, and to be in a place in his life where he can fully trust me. I love him.
 3. My Parents. I am very thankful for my parents. Especially when we are in a world where most parents dont even love each other anymore, i have parents that are truly in love and are truly in love with you. I am so lucky to have a mom and dad that would drop anything if they knew that something was wrong with me. They truly care to the point that most parents dont care. They make sure that i know i am loved and taken care of, and if i have a problem they are always there to help me work through it. They are the most generous people i know, and i am lucky to be able to call them my parents.
 4. My sisters and brother. I am also thankful for my sisters. Three of them wouldnt even be in my life if it wasnt for your goodness. I am lucky to have them in my life and lucky to have their care and love. I love having a relationship with them, and to know that they love me no matter what. They are amazing, and they all have hearts that truly want to love you and try their best. I am very lucky to have them, and to have relationships with most of them.
 5. My church. I LOVE my church. You have taken me and Tim to a church where we are truly loved, and you can see it by peoples actions. When people talk to us it is genuine, and they really care to know us on more than just a surface level. You have placed me where people understand exactly what I am going through because they have been down this road, and they havent been scared to reach out to me and to share their own stories with me to help give me courage for mine. You have given us a pastor that truly loves you and loves people, and speaks your word boldly every week. I am so thankful for a place we can call home, and I honeslty thought it would never happen. That I could never find a church like this, or that I would ever even want to. I LOVE Imagine Church!
6. My friends. I am so thankful for everyone who has loved on me and has given me the chance to be apart of their lives and shared their feelings and theirselves with me. I love them all so much, and I dont know where I would be if I didnt have their support and love.e doesnt let things about me get to him to the extent that he wouldnt want me anymore. i know im not perfect, and he is actually ok with that. I am so lucky to have him, and to be in a place in his life where he can fully trust me. I love him.
 3. My Parents. I am very thankful for my parents. Especially when we are in a world where most parents dont even love each other anymore, i have parents that are truly in love and are truly in love with you. I am so lucky to have a mom and dad that would drop anything if they knew that something was wrong with me. They truly care to the point that most parents dont care. They make sure that i know i am loved and taken care of, and if i have a problem they are always there to help me work through it. They are the most generous people i know, and i am lucky to be able to call them my parents.
 4. My sisters and brother. I am also thankful for my sisters. Three of them wouldnt even be in my life if it wasnt for your goodness. I am lucky to have them in my life and lucky to have their care and love. I love having a relationship with them, and to know that they love me no matter what. They are amazing, and they all have hearts that truly want to love you and try their best. I am very lucky to have them, and to have relationships with most of them.
 5. My church. I LOVE my church. You have taken me and Tim to a church where we are truly loved, and you can see it by peoples actions. When people talk to us it is genuine, and they really care to know us on more than just a surface level. You have placed me where people understand exactly what I am going through because they have been down this road, and they havent been scared to reach out to me and to share their own stories with me to help give me courage for mine. You have given us a pastor that truly loves you and loves people, and speaks your word boldly every week. I am so thankful for a place we can call home, and I honeslty thought it would never happen. That I could never find a church like this, or that I would ever even want to. I LOVE Imagine Church!
6. My friends. I am so thankful for everyone who has loved on me and has given me the chance to be apart of their lives and shared their feelings and theirselves with me. I love them all so much, and I dont know where I would be if I didnt have their support and love.