Life has definitely changed in the Mantzey household! I was reading over the last entry that I wrote, and it was when we went to kansas to meet the kids for the first time. Here we are 7 months later, with a whole new world in front of us! Its amazing how kids can just show you life from a new perspective. Everything is so new and so exciting and special to them, and it makes you realize how precious life truly is. There are obviously really good times, and really hard ones as well. We are bonding so well as a family, it really is crazy to think that 8 months ago, we didn't even know these kids. I feel like I have had them forever. Their little personalities are just shining through as they are getting very comfortable with us. It amazes me how much they act like us already, I can see me in each of them. God really designed them for us. I would say some of the hardest parts is learning how to handle 3 kids. Handling fights, dealing with stubbornness (Jessy is very stubborn), learning to stay consistent, learning their likes and dislikes and what makes them each feel loved. Hearing constantly about their "other foster mom" was really hard on me for a while, but that is finally calming down some. Teaching them to be more independent has been one of our main focuses. When they first got here they needed everything done for them, and would hardly do anything on their own. With Tim working long days, it was so exhausting to try to keep up with all of their needs, so I started making them do some things on their own, and they actually really enjoyed it. Shannon gets so excited when she does something new for the first time and yells out, "its because im a big sister!" We have also focused a lot on being nice to each other and forming bonds with each other. Things were getting really good between the three of them, and then Jessy hit a new stage! She really enjoys picking on the older two, pulling hair, taking their things, knocking their stuff over, and just being mean. As i mentioned earlier, Jess is a stubborn little girl, so trying to figure out ways to discipline her has been interesting. Thankfully I have a lot of great mothers I know that I have been able to get advice from and we are slowly working through it. I would say another hard part is the constant noise. Its sooo different going from the two of us, to three kids who all have so many different emotions and moods and talk all the time haha. We are learning how to be parents, and to put our marriage as a priority as well. At first it was so hard because the kids required so much from us we could hardly focus on "us." Now that we are getting a lot of their behaviors a little more in control, we are trying to figure out how to get things going smoothly with us again. And of course there is our relationships with God. For a long time, I was actually feeling really angry at Him to be honest. When we decided to take these kids, one of the other choices we had was to adopt a baby. We had met with the birthmom and she really wanted us to do it, but I just felt like three new kids and a new baby would be way to much for me and I didnt want to give less to the kids then they deserved because I was stressed. But my heart hardened towards God for making me choose, it was the one choice I didn't want to have to make, and I felt so angry at Him. It was the hardest thing in the world to have to call up this birthmom and tell her no, we couldnt do it. It broke my heart into a thousand pieces, and she is on my mind a lot. The baby was born a few months ago, and she decided to keep him and I pray that they are doing well. My relationship with God is finally getting back on track, sometimes you just have to let it all out and know that God can handle it. We are also now going back to our previous church, Imagine Church, and even though it has only been a few weeks the love of the people there for us, as well as the kids, is already softening my heart as it did the last time we went there. They just show God's love so well and embrace our family in a way I have never felt before. Continue to pray for us as we adjust to life with three kids, as we show them God's love and the love of parents who adore them. Life is so joyful again, and everyone who sees me tells me how happy I look and how much joy is in my eyes, and I LOVE it!! ,, but
