Being a Mom is Tough

Lets get real here. This is one thing I SWORE I would not do when I was finally able to have children: to write about how HARD it is to be a mom. I was convinced that once God gave them to me, I would enjoy every moment, even when they were hard because I knew all of the tears I had shed waiting for them. When God went overboard and gave me three at one time, I was ecstatic. I knew I could handle it and handle it well because, after all, God GAVE them to me. He trusted ME with them.
Being a mom is no joke. My sister sent me this online Bible study and right when I read the title of the book they were going through, I knew I wanted to join it with her. The book is called, Am I messing Up my Kids? I joined because I wanted the truth about what others deal with when it comes to being a mom. Its so easy to get caught up in the facebook posts of everyone's kids smiling and happy, and I myself am totally guilty of posting the most precious moments. The truth is, being a mom has a lot more moments that are not precious, they are not easy, and they are more challenging than I can seem to describe on this blog. The study challenged us all to write a blog post on why being a mom is tough, and I'm glad I get to participate
Today is a great example! We went to the park this morning, which was really fun. Then we get kicked out of the park area because TJ rang the doorbell to the "museum house" like 20 times and the lady was not very happy. Of course I post all of the cute pictures, but leave out the getting kicked out part. Then we get home, and I'm ready to get these kids fed and in bed so I can work on designing some flyers (I work from home a few days a week.) I go to turn my computer on, and my monitor is completely dead. I load up the kids back into the car (traveling and shopping with three kids is not a fast thing to do---ever) and off we go to get a monitor. We get home and I feed them and put them in bed, and about 20 minutes later I hear some noises coming from the room. Uh huh. I quietly sneak down the hallway to find out who is the culprit, and I hear TJ and Shan screaming and laughing and throwing toys at each other. I frustratingly yell at them to get back in their beds (yes, yell) and get to sleep (Shan had already been whining the past hour because she was SOOO tired---uh huh). I go back in the living room to sit down and get some work done, and no sooner do I know it, I hear them again! This time they were so loud they woke up their little sister, who needs a nap more than any of them. Jess comes out crying and crying, TJ and Shan are crying because they knew I'm upset that they just woke up Jessy. Toby walks up to Jessy and licks her, and you would have thought the dog just bit her arm off with the way she starting crying hysterically (which means she didn't sleep near enough). And at this moment, I long for my little facebook pictures that show sweet littles smiles hiding all of the craziness that goes on in this little house. Then later I start making some dinner, and I hear some screaming going on outside, and Shan opens the door and screams, MOM JESSY POOPED IN HER BATHING SUIT. Jessy is crying and upset, I go out there to hose her down (yep you read me right) and TJ starts screaming at me that he saw a spider and I needed to kill it right now! I lose it. Do you NOT see that I'm taking care of poop right now?????? (Yes funny now, but not in the moment.) He goes inside crying because I raised my voice and he's sensitive and Jessy is screaming because she has poop all over her. I finally get her clean, and I go inside to find my spaghetti sauce has popped all over the kitchen walls and the stove because I hadn't been in there to stir it.  The feelings of frustration that can rise up inside us moms is hard. Especially with three little ones. And this is just one day!
Your kids show you where you struggle, they start acting out your struggles and failures. If you struggle with anger (which is my huge struggle), you will start to see it coming out in them. I am learning that I need to lean harder on God, because He is the only one who can sustain me through these moments. As my kids are being normal kids, and even the parts of them that are dealing with things that "normal" kids don't have to deal with because of all of their past trauma, I am the one who is with them to teach them and help guide them through life. In these day to day moments when I yell or get frustrated at them, its so easy for Satan to get into my thoughts and get me thinking that I am messing up my kids, that I am not a good mom, that they deserve more and that I will never be what they need. He tries to get me to forget God's mercy, and when I am willing to listen, God reminds me that He did not call me to be a perfect mom, but to be an imperfect one that can show them His grace. When I mess up, I can apologize and show them the side of me that needs forgiveness and that needs God. I am not a perfect mom by any means, I struggle and I don't understand. I get overwhelmed and at times feel really lost in this huge thing called motherhood. Through this Bible study, I am glad that I am seeing I don't have to be perfect, and that other moms struggle just as I do!

You can view the Bible Study Blog by clicking on the picture below if you want to join :)